


Nobody Knows

by Directioner1988



Category: Duran Duran, Heaven 17 (Band), Nik Kershaw (Musician)
Genre: Bullying, Death, Drug Use, Height Differences, M/M, One Shot, Reminiscing, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 03:10:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13204566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Directioner1988/pseuds/Directioner1988
Summary: My story is set in 2000 where Roger, John and Andrew are identical triplets.Andrew is married to Nik Kershaw and to avoid confusion Kershaw: Nikki and Rhodes: NickMy story touches on several sensitive subjects ranging from bullying (something myself have experienced) to suicideThe story title was inspired by Nik Kershaw's 1986 single Nobody Knows





	Nobody Knows

**Author's Note:**

> My story is set in 2000 where Roger, John and Andrew are identical triplets.  
> Andrew is married to Nik Kershaw and to avoid confusion Kershaw: Nikki and Rhodes: Nick  
> My story touches on several sensitive subjects ranging from bullying (something myself have experienced) to suicide  
> The story title was inspired by Nik Kershaw's 1986 single Nobody Knows

**All Andrew wanted to do after a long day of arguments and recording potential new singles with his brothers was to settle down with his husband and watch the latest James Bond film The World Is Not Enough, but when he stepped through the front door he found he was greeted with nothing but eerie silence. Thinking his husband may be sleeping Andrew quietly snuck upstairs and started searching the rooms in their three bedroomed house. Having no such luck with the spare rooms he made his way across the landing to his and Nikki's bedroom where he could hear the sound of muffled cries and random object being smashed before it all fell silent**

**'Bollocks' came the voice only Andrew could recognised as Nikki's voice, when he had done something wrong**

**Letting a wave of panic set in Andrew quickly turned the door handle and opened the door to find his husband holding a sharp shard of broken glass in his hand, both the shard of glass and his hand were covered in blood, not being able to stop himself speaking he looked straight at Nikki and catechized 'Nikki, what's going on?' when he noticed the scratch marks on the 42 year old's wrists and arms**

**'Nothing, it's fine' Nikki lied digging the shard of glass deeper into his right wrist, dragging it across his pale skin and letting out a whimpered 'Shit' as he did so**

**'Nicholas David Kershaw-Taylor don't lie' Andrew exclaimed calmly seeing the crimson red blood of his husband bleed from his wrists**

**'I'm not lying, I swear' Nikki replied as he dug the shard of glass into another part of his arm, this time letting the droplets of blood drip from the small puncture he had created in his skin on to the wooden flooring**

**'Nikki, I'm not fucking stupid' Andrew scorned seeing his husband add another puncture wound to his already scarred covered arms**

**'I didn't say you were fucking stupid... All I said was it's fine' Nikki cried throwing the blood covered shard of glass away and searching for a razor blade in hoping that he could inflict more damage to himself, after managing to find one Nikki returned to his seat on the floor and starting cutting himself, each cut getting deeper**

**'Nikki, just tell me' Andrew screeched getting wound up about his husband's attitude**

**'Sorry can't do' Nikki smirked enjoying seeing his husband rapidly lose his temper as he dragged the blade across the top of his arm**

**Andrew decided that if he was to get through to Nikki, he have try a different tactic, one that Nikki wasn't even aware of**

**'Is it because of how short you are?' He asked knowing it was cruel but also knowing it was the only way to get through to him**

**Looking up, Nikki knew Andrew had started to push his luck, not that it actually bothered Andrew though**

**'No' Nikki replied mendaciously**

**'Nikki, I know what it's like being short, I was bullied for being short and so were my brothers' Andrew piped up knowing he had finally hit a nerve with Nikki**

**'No you don't, you were never were bullied because of your height' Nikki snapped dropping the blood covered blade next to him**

**'Nikki, John ended up in hospital because he thought he could take on the bullies that were calling us short' Andrew replies not expecting what Nikki was about to say next**

**'How would you know what it feels like to be short and get bullied by your band mates because of it? Nikki screamed rephrasing the question and eventually breaking down into tears**

**'Wait... Hang on... What?' Andrew asks puzzled**

**'You heard me... How would you know what it feels like to be short and get bullied by your band mates because of it?' Nikki repeated in frustration rendering Andrew speechless**

**When he did manage to find the power of speech, he looked at Nikki and declared 'No, I wouldn't but Nikki sweetheart what happened is in the past, you can't let it get to you no matter how long it was and plus short or not you're perfect the way you are' taking a seat next to his sobbing husband**

**'I can't... You know what just forget I said anything' Nikki shouted**

**'I can't do that Nikki... You know I can't and I won't forget what you said Nikki' Andrew scolded**

**'What do you care anyway?' Nikki yelled**

**'Nikki, I love you long enough to care. You mean everything to me and I don't want to see you upset over anything' Andrew explained taking hold of Nikki's blood covered hands**

**After hearing Andrew say that he loved him, the older lad felt confident enough to pour out his emotions to him 'When I was in Fusion, I was bullied because of me height, whenever my former band mates had the opportunity to they would bully me, in the end it seemed that they only wanted me in the band so they could call me names and not give a total shit about my musical abilities and in all honesty, I couldn't actually wait for all the bullying it end and when it didn't I started self-harming and carried on even after Fusion split up. I did start taking drugs too but they never gave the euphoria that cutting myself did, so I stopped taking them' Nikki explicated despondently**

**'Nikki, sweetheart they were just jealous of what you had' Andrew spoke up after several seconds of silence**

**'It took me a while to understand why they bullied me and they have asked for forgiveness but I said no, not because of what they did but because they were so insecure about themselves, they decided to take it out on anyone they could' Nikki sighed**

**'And that anyone happened to be you?' Andrew questions**

**'Sadly yes' Nikki responded**

**'Nikki, people like that are idiots and a waste of time' Andrew sighed**

**'You know what? Despite the self-harming, I was overly ecstatic the day the band ended' Nikki smiled weakly**

**'Niks from the first day seeing you in the crowd at the Brighton Centre during our Rio tour, I knew you were the one for me, my band mates even teased me about it afterwards backstage' Andrew smiled**

**'Yeah, Roger snuck me backstage to meet you and when I did I was lost for words at how beautiful you were' Nikki reminisced as he let out a yawn from all the tears that had fell from his eyes 'And to this day you are still beautiful'**

**Sensing Nikki hadn't finished pouring out his emotions Andrew looked at his sky blue eyes and asked 'Nikki? There's more to say isn't there? That's why you still continue to self-harm isn't it? as he set his wedding picture down beside him before pointing to the remains of a wine glass**

**Knowing his husband wanted to hear what he had to say Nikki bowed his head and answered in a soft Bristolian accent 'They couldn't accept I was gay either, they always mocked me for preferring men over women, I couldn't even hold down a decent relationship for long because of them. Even when I wasn't around rehearsing with them, they still made fun of my sexuality saying that I was a weak, pathetic bastard and that nobody will ever love me' he let a few tears slip from his eyes as he carried on explaining 'They even told me once that I was better off dead saying no one would miss me, so taking their advice I decided that I was going to take my own life by hanging myself, I had just slipped my head into the noose when a friend found me and stopped me from killing myself stating that I had more to give to life then let assholes like them bully and mock me'**

**Andrew just looked at his husband in disbelief and started to tear up thinking back to the time that his blonde haired band mate Nick Rhodes came out as gay and had suffered abuse for it, his band mates had tried to help but it had gone too far to do anything. The abuse got so bad that he felt the only way out was to take his own life. His death had deeply affected the band in a way that they decided as a group, it was best for them to go their separate ways, John had moved to America in the hope it would help him kick start his career in acting and when that failed he returned to England and formed a new band, Roger had moved to Wiltshire and started to teach kids how to play the drums although he still missed the singing side of life so after being asked he joined John in making a new band,  Simon had opted to remain in London and continued to write lyrics for the trio under his nick name 'JC Charlie' while Andrew moved to the Cotswold with Nik to start a family, but after being persuaded by Rog he joined his two brothers and the three formed 'The Taylor Trio' and as for Nick's fiancé, Glenn chose to quit the music business to raise his son Nicholas James Jr. and open up a centre for bereaved families in Nick's home town of Birmingham.**


End file.
